Asking more questions — follow-up questions in particular — increased how much the asker was liked. The mediator was perceived responsiveness. In the speed-dating study, question-asking predicted being offered a second date.
How it was done
Two laboratory experiments on getting-acquainted conversations, plus an observational field study of speed dating.
What it means
The behavioural outcome is what makes this worth citing. A second date is not a self-report, and it is harder to explain away than a liking rating.
A follow-up question is a specific signal: it can only be produced by someone who took in what was just said. That is why it reads as responsiveness rather than politeness.
The mediator is the same construct that shows up in the intimacy literature and in the maintenance meta-analysis. Three independent lines of work land on the other person’s sense that you were paying attention.